Category: Humour

Guest Post: Vivian’s View From Here

Published on by J. Kelland Perry15 Comments

I am happy to introduce a guest blogger on Jennifer’s Journal this week.  Please welcome Vivian K. Perry, a very dear friend of mine who also happens to be, um, feline.


Vivian K. Perry

Greetings, humans!  I am thrilled to be given this opportunity today on WordPress to share some photos, and a few things about myself.

To be honest,  I think Jennifer is allowing me to host today to make up for shrieking at me last week, when I brought a mouse in the house.  It was a gift, after all, so instead of screaming bloody (mousey) murder, shouldn’t she have been grateful to receive a trophy of my hunting prowess?  Especially since I brought it home to her, and dropped it in the hallway – STILL ALIVE?  You try to do something nice, but you are only misunderstood…

Actually, I enjoy a lovely life here with Jennifer, her husband, and my sister and womb-mate, Maisie.

Up until two summers ago, we all lived in the city.  It was okay, but my sister and I were not allowed outside by ourselves because of all the traffic in our neighbourhood, and the danger to us that it entailed.  So when we moved to the country, imagine our delight to be free to explore the great outdoors!

We can now come and go as we please, chase birds, butterflies and rodents, and savour the lifestyle we had only dreamed about in our former life.

Just last month, Maisie and I celebrated our fifth birthday.  Here is what we looked like when we were adopted from the SPCA:

Gosh, I was cute..

Even though we are sisters, Maisie and I are different in many ways.  (Some people don’t know that kittens from the same litter can have different fathers;  did you?  I think that is what happened with us.)  Maisie is smaller, and very much on the quiet side…

…while I am larger, quite vocal and in-your-face.

I am truly a Social Animal who adores human relationships and have been known to be exceedingly dog-like.  I’ll follow you, talk to you, keep you company, sleep with you, and never, ever let you get lonely.

Working with Paul
Going swimming?
I’ll watch!

In fact, the other day, I went next door to visit our neighbour Ben.  I simply walked in, meowed at everyone, ventured upstairs, and enjoyed a nap on his bed.  No invitation necessary!

Many people think that a cat is a cat is a cat.  But I’m here today to dispel that assumption.  I am not aloof.  I don’t scratch, bite or hiss at people.  I can be very friendly with just about anyone.

And even though I do catch mice, and perhaps meow a little too loudly, I am as loyal and loving as any dog.

Just ask Jennifer.

* This blog post was since selected for publication in BBooks – Blog Books, an online magazine! 

Are You an “Animal Racist”?

Published on by J. Kelland Perry11 Comments

Disclaimer:  the following rant is in no way intended to minimize or satirize the very serious issue of racism in our world today.  It was conceived with tongue firmly in cheek and for entertainment purposes only… sort of.

 

Are you tired of hearing countless dog lovers dissing cats as a matter of course?  Have you grown weary, as I have, of people professing to be proud animal owners, and yet they sh*t on the existence of my beloved pets?  I swear, if I hear one more dog owner claiming that dogs are the superior pet, I’m going to start the meanest cat-fight you have ever witnessed.

 

Don’t get me wrong.  I love dogs.  I adore dogs.  I have owned dogs myself in the past, but right now my life is more suited for the feline variety of pets, due in part to their low maintenance, but also because of the compatibility of our personalities.  We are quiet, for the most part, and slightly aloof.  We are independent.  We keep ourselves clean.  And we love each other unconditionally, and pine for each other when we’re apart.  ( But I’m getting off track here with my cat love.  I am head over heels about horses too, but can in no way accommodate one in my life at this time either.)

Even media personalities are hopping on the “dogs and dog-people are best” bandwagon, spouting their prejudices like it’s something to be proud of.  But folks, just because your opinion is popular doesn’t make it right.  It makes you sound like you have succumbed to a form of speciesism.  Besides, you hardly ever hear cat owners/lovers badmouthing dogs, the way so many dog owners/lovers badmouth cats.

 

Where is the tolerance?  What happened to the idea of Live and Let Live?  Can we not embrace all animals for their individuality and wonderfulness?  I’ll even go out on a limb here and say it is comparable to the ignorance of a person saying he loves mankind, but in no way can he tolerate foreigners.  It just doesn’t make any sense, like so many other kinds of prejudice ( and don’t get me started on that).

Can we not all embrace each other for our differences and uniqueness, and just get along?

 

Hard-workin’ Man

Published on by J. Kelland PerryLeave a comment

My husband, who works at home, usually tries to take the weekend off to get some much-deserved rest to recharge his batteries.  So Saturday morning he put his drafting and design work aside, and got outdoors.

First, he cleaned out the shed, put aside some renovation debris, and straightened up some of the things we have stored out there. Then, using the wheelbarrow, he moved said debris out on the point near the water’s edge, requiring several trips, and built a huge bonfire.

After the fire died down, my sweetie then built a little step-ramp to the shed door for wheeling out the barbecue and lawnmower.  When that was finished, he tuned up the lawnmower and proceeded to cut the grass on our property.  All of this relaxation had worked up his appetite, so he came inside and made himself a sandwich.  But hey, that grass wasn’t done yet, so out he went again to finish up.

When the lawn was done, my husband took out our zero gravity chairs and set them up on the deck.  Then he wheeled out the barbecue and put that on the deck.  Because it hadn’t been used since last fall, he had to clean off the grill.  Perfect!  We would have our burgers barbecued tonight, I thought, my mouth watering.  So my honey made our delicious dinner.

And that was Saturday.

This morning, my husband made his specialty scrambled eggs for the two of us, the ideal fuel for his second day of leisure.  Time to get to it!  First, he took out the recyclables, fed and watered the cats, and changed the kitty litter.  Then he went upstairs and put up some wood trim around our shower.

Well, that was all he needed to do around the house, for now.  So he went back to his office this afternoon, not to do drafting, but to put some time in on his favorite hobby, his pen and ink art.
It’s always nice to see my husband enjoying a weekend off.   ♥

Bonavista Bay Polar Bear!

Published on by J. Kelland Perry5 Comments

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local Facebook photo

“Be careful what you wish for, Jennifer…”

I have always adored animals, and was enjoying getting closer to nature since my husband and I moved back to rural Newfoundland, but THIS IS A LITTLE TOO CLOSE FOR COMFORT.

Yes, the big visitor showed up in our little town just yesterday, one of four recent reports of polar bears being on the island of Newfoundland so far this spring (read further and view actual pictures from yesterday from the linked article below).  The Ursus Maritimus doesn’t often make its way this far south.  It is when it is hungrily hunting seals, which are found on icepans this time of year, that it may end up in some of our backyards.  Yikes!!

“Don’t worry,”  says my husband.  “Nobody has ever been attacked by a polar bear in Newtown before.”

Gee, thanks, Honey.  I don’t know why I was worrying.  We are, after all, only talking about the LARGEST LIVING LAND PREDATOR IN THE WORLD.

Silly RCMP, too, for warning us to be on the lookout.  Oh well, as the old joke goes, I won’t have to outrun the bear, I’ll just have to outrun the husband…

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Cold and Dreary February? Nahh… Part Two (Indoors)

Published on by J. Kelland Perry1 Comment

As my last blog entry noted, I wanted to share with you the joys of my indoor life this past month (see related article below).  There were four activities that have made February a pleasure for me this winter, and they all took place in the coziness of our home.

1.  Cooking and baking Comfort Food.  And, of course, eating it!
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comfort food 006

Aahhh…the domestic bliss I feel when I bake a batch of homemade bread on a cold winter day… the delicious aroma, the shiny plump loaves all lined up as they cool.  Without a doubt it is my favourite comfort food.  Using whole wheat flour makes it nutritious as well.

A perennial favourite among many foodies is good old macaroni and cheese.  Nothing says Comfort like my mom’s recipe.  The cheesy, bubbly goodness, with buttered crumb topping, that heavenly smell…are we hungry yet?

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Just last night I made a hearty pot of beef stew, sure to warm you right down to your toes.  The wholesome ingredients, the rich gravy;  and what goes great with a big steaming bowl?  That’s right, more HOMEMADE BREAD.  Forget it, low carb diet, you will have to wait til spring.

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2.  Watching Movies

Paul and I usually take part in what we call a Movie Blitz this time of year.  In a race before Oscar night, we have watched seven of the nine movies nominated for Best Picture.  And what a delightful cross-section this year!  There were plenty of handsome actors to choose from:  George Clooney, Brad Pitt, Jean Dujardin, to name a few.  Be still, my romantic heart.

There was even a movie to satisfy my girlhood love of thoroughbreds:  War Horse.  If you haven’t seen it, you should. It’s an old-fashioned sweeping epic style of picture, done in a way Spielberg is famous for.

 

3.  Book Club

Reading has been a passion of mine all my life.  I’m talking about having to read every word on a cereal box if nothing else is handy.  Our little book discussion group had a slow start, but we now have more members.  The Book of Negroes by Lawrence Hill was our first selection (an excellent read), and now we are in the process of selecting the next one.  For those who don’t know, the local library has actual book club kits that include many choices of wonderful books, both old classics and the latest bestsellers.  If there is anyone out there in a book club, I would love it if you could drop me a line and share your experience.

4.  Planning a Tropical Getaway

Anticipating a trip south is one of the best ways I know to cure the winter blahs.  Make it two trips and you’re guaranteed that cure.  The first one will be in three weeks for just the two of us, then another toward the end of April, where we get to spend time with friends and family.  Always fun to have a reason to take out your summer duds in February!

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As for the rest of you living in the northern hemisphere, what has kept you warm this month?

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Menopause…or “Perry”-Menopause?

Published on by J. Kelland Perry7 Comments

So here I am, on a frigid January evening. Outside, a bitter wind chill of minus 10 degrees Celsius (that’s 14+ degrees for you Fahrenheit folks), is blowing directly off the North Atlantic just a few yards from our door. My husband Paul is gone playing floor hockey at the high school gym, so I’m alone, trying desperately to chill out. Not figuratively, mind you, but literally. I turned down the thermostats so there is  no heat on in my house, simply because my body feels like a furnace turned up on cremate.

This is a new and fresh hell for yours truly, only making itself known within the last couple of weeks. Somehow, I had let myself believe I’d be lucky enough to escape the discomfort of “tropical moments” at this time of my life. How I used to chuckle when one of my friends or coworkers complained of a hot flash. Ha! The joke is now on me. And for the uninitiated, it doesn’t feel like a source of external heat that hits you. It’s more like internal spontaneous combustion, where you think you just might suddenly burst into flames.

Stripped down to a tank top and appropriately, sweat pants, eating blueberries out of the freezer (still frozen), I’m trying to hold it together. I made the mistake earlier of googling other menopause symptoms, and started ticking off other lovely ailments I’ve been experiencing. Brain fog? Check. Anxiety? Check. Night sweats? Check. Mood swings? Okay, that one is just me, can’t blame that on The Change.

The website also warned that the whole process could take anywhere from two to eight years before it is done. That’s just terrific. Think I’ll go out and stick my head in a snow bank.

And now Paul is home. “It’s freezing here!” he says. He looks at my red face. “Is it alright if I turn up the heat?”

“If you must,” I bark, fanning myself with a throw cushion.

Then I realize something. In our house, PMS always stood for Paul Must Suffer. Well, the PMS might be coming to an end for me, but it won’t be ending for him any time soon. Will he survive? Will I?

Check back in two to eight years.

Follow the Yellow Brick Road…

Published on by J. Kelland Perry12 Comments

Hello, and welcome to my Journal! This is my first foray into the world of blogging, so being a total newbie at this, I am not even sure where my words will take us. The one thing I can tell you, Dear Reader, is that Jennifer’s Journal will be a sharing of my thoughts in the forms of prose, poetry and musings. As well, I plan to include selections of photography that I think you will like.

New Year’s Eve 2011 is upon us, and 2012 beckons with promise. I should be getting gussied up for the Ball at the Barbour site here in Newtown in a few hours, the first one in several years for us. I should be primping and preening, painting my nails, curling my locks and donning a frock to ring in the new year in style with the local revelers. Instead, I’ve happened upon The (wonderful) Wizard of Oz, a movie that has hijacked my attention for the hundredth time.

And once again, I ask myself, What is it about the Scarecrow (always my favorite), that makes my silly heart melt? Is it the way he falls about in his straw-filled pants, like he hasn’t a bone in his body, or is it the way he talks so kindly to Dorothy, making me wish I was her? Yes, I smile at the Tin Man, and I laugh at the Cowardly Lion, but it is the Scarecrow that makes me PVR the rest of the movie before I am reluctantly pulled away.

And I know it is the last day of the year, but I didn’t want to wait for January One, which would have been the expected start date of a blog. I had to ask that very important question today.

Perhaps, Dorothy has the answer?

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