With a new school year beginning this week, I urge those of you who are parents of young students to broach the topic of anti-bullying.
Perhaps you have had the talk before, but it bears repeating and reinforcing. Start a dialogue on all aspects of bullying, including cyber-bullying. A child’s future well-being may be at stake.
Consider having your child take the following pledge:
As the pledge states, it is also important not to turn a blind eye when you witness bullying. Yes, it takes courage to speak up, but as parents and teachers, we have to teach our kids to be compassionate.
Bullying is deliberately hurting another person with your words or actions. Would you want someone to treat you that way?
Jennifer's Journal 
That same pledge works for cyberbullying. I was amazed the first year I asked students about it, to find how many of them get cyberbullied through games they play that have an online component–one that allows them to play against strangers but also be cyberbullied by them. That’s when I started teaching coping skills for that in 2nd grade instead of 4th (well, fourth, too, but now I start much earlier).
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Yes, teaching them early is key, I think, but it can be reinforced every year to keep them on the right path. I did mention cyber-bullying above, and that is something I wish adults as well as children would stop. I don’t know if you ever noticed when you read comments after an article, that many of them are written by trolls who get some kind of kick out of bashing other commenters. Get a life, you jerks!
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“important not to turn a blind eye”…exactly. Pretending something isn’t happening, doesn’t mean it’s not. We must open our eyes to what’s going on around us, teach our children to value and have compassion for others and help those who are hurting. Thank you for sharing this very important post topic.
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You are very welcome. Caring about the feelings and well-being of others should be in the curriculum, imho. Sad that some need to be taught what is actually common sense.
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I was bullied when I was in elementary school – maybe 4th and 5th grades. The bully was waiting for me to walk home from school. He had a friend with him. The bully took the rubber from his shoe and hit me in the face with it. His friend just snickered. I did tell my parents about this and the bully never bothered me again. Mom told me that I beat him up. I don’t remember that. They also might have intervened. 😉 (I wrote a post about The Bully close to 3 years ago.)
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We hear so many stories of bullying, one wonders sometimes if it is a rite of passage. But we are not all created equal; some of us can bear the abuse and go on as if nothing happened, other fight back, and still others are sensitive and suffer the scars into adulthood. I would hate to think I hurt someone that way.
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I was bullied and never asked for help because I thought it would make it worse – this is a great pledge for children to make.
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I didn’t ask for help either. Far too shy for that, and I didn’t want to bother my parents with it. Thankfully it stopped after that one year.
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That is a great pledge to have. I have never been a bully but I remember some occasions when I stood back and didn’t do anything about stopping other people bullying and I have felt guilty about that even though I was only a child at the time. Children think they cannot do anything and they can. They can say ‘stop’.
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Yes, if only they knew they had the power to make a difference! I remember a time in my life when I moved and went to a new school, and a couple of girls were quite mean to me. It especially hurt when no one objected to their treatment. They just watched.
Forgive me, Elizabeth, I wasn’t trying to make you feel more guilty. Just thinking out loud.
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Love the pledge Jennifer, my son gets picked on a little bit for being different. Mostly I have taught him to stand up to who ever is being mean. It is also important to build good strong self-esteem in your child. I also make them understand that its not about them, that this child is probably being bullied elsewhere too.
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So true about bullies being unhappy with their own lives, I believe. Whether they are being put down by someone or if it is the only way they know to build themselves up, it isn’t about the person they themselves bully. And as you say, building self-esteem and sticking up for yourself is paramount.
It makes me sad when kids are mean to one another.
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As someone who was bullied and later became a bully, I applaud your decision to post a reminder to parents and kids. Thanks Jennifer. ❤
Diana xo
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Hi Diana, I appreciate your honesty. A bully is often misunderstood and in need of compassion too. Thanks. XO
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