Menopause…or “Perry” Menopause? An Update

Published on by J. Kelland Perry

Last week, while looking back on a few of my January posts from the past, I hit upon the following that I’d written exactly eight years ago. I thought the timing was perfect to provide an update as the last line suggested. I had mentioned that “The Change” can take anywhere from two to eight years. Thankfully, it didn’t last anywhere near eight years for me, and yes, Paul survived. 🙂

By the way, he still plays floor hockey on Monday nights and I never turn the heat off anymore in the dead of winter. I hope that brings a measure of comfort to those of you who are dealing with menopause or perimenopause at the moment.

January 30, 2012:
So here I am, on a frigid January evening. Outside, a bitter wind chill of minus 10 degrees Celsius (that’s 14+ degrees for you Fahrenheit folks) is blowing directly off the North Atlantic  just a few yards from our door. Husband Paul is gone playing floor hockey at the high school gym, so I’m alone, trying desperately to chill out. Not figuratively, mind you, but literally. I turned down the thermostats so there is no heat on in my house, simply because my body feels like a furnace turned up on cremate.

This is a new and fresh hell for yours truly, only making itself known within the last couple of weeks. Somehow, I had let myself believe I’d be lucky enough to escape the discomfort of “tropical moments” at this time of my life. How I used to chuckle when one of my friends or coworkers complained of a hot flash. Ha! The joke is now on me. And for the uninitiated, it doesn’t feel like a source of external heat that hits you. It’s more like internal spontaneous combustion, where you think you just might suddenly burst into flames.

pexels-photo-207353Stripped down to a tank top and appropriately, sweat pants, eating blueberries out of the freezer (still frozen), I’m trying to hold it together. I made the mistake earlier of googling other menopause symptoms, and started ticking off other lovely ailments I’ve been experiencing. Brain fog? Check. Anxiety? Check. Night sweats? Check. Mood swings? Okay, that one is just me, can’t blame that on The Change.

The website also warned that the whole process could take anywhere from two to eight years before it is done. That’s just terrific. Think I’ll go out and stick my head in a snow bank.

And now Paul is home. “It’s freezing here!” he says. He looks at my red face. “Is it alright if I turn up the heat?”

“If you must,” I bark, fanning myself with a throw cushion.

Then I realize something. In our house, PMS always stood for Paul Must Suffer. Well, the PMS might be coming to an end for me, but it won’t be ending for him any time soon. Will he survive? Will I?

Check back in two to eight years.

*Images courtesy of Pexels

25 thoughts on “Menopause…or “Perry” Menopause? An Update”

  1. Thank you for this Jennifer, from a male perspective I have been happily married for 16 years to a wonderful warm woman who I have lived with for the last twenty years. We have had all the usual ups and downs but generally get on really well. We have three teenager children and a pretty usual life. She stood by me while I had treatment for thyroid cancer six years ago and she went on to become a counsellor. My wife has been going through the perimenopause since Christmas and she had just told me she is no longer in love with me which has shattered my world. I am hoping it is just hormones and will just take time. I am being as supportive as I can while crumbling inside. Neil

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    1. I’m very sorry to hear that. Unless there are other factors involved, it is possible she is going through hormonal changes that are temporarily playing havoc with her emotions. Of course, I am only speculating. I hope it all works out for you both, but in the meantime the only advice I can give is to give her time while you continue to be sympathetic and supportive.

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  2. I still have hot flashes and night sweats. I think the night sweats have been the worst for me though. I can’t wait for it to subside. The hot flashes are gradually lessening but the night sweats are still very present. 😓

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  4. I’m happy to hear you and Paul survived. I never had any symptoms although my thermostat went in the opposite direction. I freeze all of the time…even when it’s almost 80 degrees. Sorry I’m late, but your post didn’t come up in my WP feed.

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    1. So you’re freezing all the time, even now? Not good!
      Something wonky happened to this post, Jill. When I published it, it still showed as a draft on my phone app but published on my laptop. I’m guessing that’s why it didn’t show in the reader. That has never happened before, but thanks for bringing to my attention. xx

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    1. That’s a bonus for me too, I don’t have migraines anymore. This post was supposed to be on the funny side – it wasn’t intended as a pity party. Maybe I should leave the humour to those who are better at it. 😅

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  6. Ha. I remember that so well, Jennifer. Mid-January with the windows open and dripping with sweat. I felt like I’d turned the oven on high and crawled in. I’m so glad this is behind us. What was mother nature thinking?? In hindsight, it’s funny, but honestly. Thanks for sharing!

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    1. Hi Diana! Anyone who has gone through those menopausal symptoms will never forget it, right? Like you, I’m relieved it’s behind me. I also think men have gotten off too easy in the biology department, but that’s what makes us such superheroes! (That’s my story and I’m sticking to it 😁). Thanks for dropping by and have a great weekend. xo

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    1. Yes, you’re absolutely right about the perspective on transitions, Rebecca. And I have to confess I stole the PMS definition from Paul Anka, who said it in an interview once upon a time. But my Paul suffered too. Thanks for the lovely compliment! ❤️

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  9. Jennifer, I’m glad you both survived! 😀 And phew, good it wasn’t for the long eight years. I bet the house was freezing cold, especially with minus ten outside. Googling is a double-edged sword, very helpful but sometimes too much information makes things seem unbearable, which you captured brilliantly here!

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    1. Thanks for saying that. 😘 We’d probably be divorced now if it had lasted eight years, Annika. You’re right about Google, you often find the worst case scenarios right off the bat. 😄 Anyway, we did survive, but he did do a lot of tiptoeing around my moods and symptoms!

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  10. I never had night sweats, hot flashes, insomnia…I was just a tad irritable I told my doctor that my kids said I was a bit grumpy. She looked at me and said, ‘Your kids lie. You’re a bitch.’ I had to laugh, ’cause I know she was right. Hello mood swings!

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