Last week, while I was sifting through old papers, I found this piece of writing from nearly twenty years ago. Thankfully, we have all made peace since then…
Once upon a time, there was a girl from St. John’s.
At the age of fourteen,
she moved around the bay with her family.
She hated her curly hair,
adored her Persian cat,
and loved to get lost inside stories and songs.
When she grew older,
she fell in love and got married.
She was happy.
She had a beautiful little daughter.
Not long after,
she gave birth to a handsome son.
She liked to tease him and call him
her little “curly boy”
because he so much reminded her of herself.
A few times,
when she and the husband had terrible fights,
she had to take her girl and boy
to her parents’ house.
But the husband would always tell her
how sorry he was,
and she would go back because she loved him,
and wanted to believe him.
Eventually, she stopped believing.
She moved back to St. John’s
and started a new job and a new life.
She still had her beautiful daughter,
but she lost her curly-boy
to his dad.
She found someone
who reminded her of her love
for stories and songs.
She loves her cats,
still hates her curly hair, and
misses her son
with an ache that never goes away
and leaves her pillow wet with tears
every night.
Still, she knows
she is doing the only thing she can.
She hopes someday he will understand
how, once upon a time,
there was a girl from St. John’s
who couldn’t fight anymore,
and only wished for
a happily ever after.
~ Jennifer Kelland, 1995
Jennifer's Journal 
Jennifer, I’ve got tears in my eyes. They are tears of thanksgiving for your happily ever after ending. You remind me of a brave friend who has also decided she’s tired of fighting, and I’m so relieved she’s now free from the battle.
Blessings ~ Wendy ❀
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I wish your friend the best, Wendy. Bravo to her for seeing the light and taking the right path.
It was a difficult few years being estranged from my son, but we are now closer than ever, thank God. Thanks for your support.
Jennifer XOXO
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Jennifer I am sad reading this. Sending hugs and I thank you for sharing a part of your life that was difficult and hope you have healed in some way.
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Thank you, Kath. I have healed, owed mostly to the fact my son and I reconciled in 2000. Of course, as you know from your own life losses, such events change you forever and will always be a part of who you are.
I don’t enjoy making my readers sad; I simply feel a need to express certain aspects of myself through prose, poetry, etc. Most of my posts are overwhelmingly positive, but I wouldn’t be human if I didn’t balance those with the reality of adversity. I hope you understand what I’m trying to say.
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I do and I admire you and agree our experiences make us who we are.
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Oh Jennifer! This tugged at my heartstrings. The trauma of what you must have gone through. I cannot imagine it. I am happy for you that you say that everyone is now at peace (does that include your ex-husband?)
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Yes, everyone. It was a difficult time, but we survived. Thanks, Elizabeth. xo
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Oh Jennifer…this so tugged at my heart. Consider the 1995 Jennifer virtually hugged. What the heck – (((HUGS))) to the 2014 Jennifer as well.
Thank you for sharing something so personal. ❤
Diana xo
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Thanks for the hugs, Diana. ❤
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She turned out to be stronger and wiser in the end 🙂
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This is true. She would have preferred not having to learn such a lesson, though. Ah well.
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