Here are two poems that I wrote in the fall of 1994. It was a time of great transition for me; my marriage had ended close to a year before, and for the first time since I was a teenager, I was experiencing life as a single woman.
The first poem was written to express my readiness for the next chapter, and my anticipation of what good things might come my way. When I wrote it, I had no way of knowing I would be meeting and falling in love with my future (and now present) husband, and the love of my life, later in that same month.
I wrote the second poem after our meeting, and our subsequent falling-in-love. I’ll never forget the rushes of love I felt every time he held me, and how much my life had changed.
Even though these are not new creations and should perhaps be included in my Pages from the Past section, I chose to share them here as a new post. Why? To me, these heartfelt words of my younger self are still fresh and very much alive. They have no expiry date.
The September sun falls
Warm upon my face as I blink back
A lonely tear.
But to be alone isn’t so bad.
A decade of fragile dreams, dashed,
Had prepared me for this
Season of solitude.
Hadn’t you known it was inevitable,
Dear, battered heart?
The gulf I see ahead is blue,
Unknown, and strangely
I knew I would face it someday,
As surely as I had faced the impossible gulf
Of a love that could not support us,
Like a ropework bridge that is frayed, rotting, stretching
Into a sadder tomorrow.
No, it couldn’t be trusted to help us
I finally accepted its condition
And turned away.
The summer of change is passing,
And the autumn of New Beginning
A crisp welcome breeze blows
The last stray doubts from my mind.
I watch a dry russet leaf skitter and dance
To a uniquely different song, of a September that holds
The inviting promise of a life not ending, but
My dreams are different now
Like the little cat that lives here
They hold no memory of that
Other time and place
Oblivious to the shadows of the
Grounded only in the here and now
Sweet contentment almost
Makes me purr, like her.
And unlike before
Upon awakening I realize
My dreams and my reality
Are as one
I smile and stretch,
Bathed in the warmth
Of dreams coming
Because of you.